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I always shook when I came out of the Arena, but this time the tension wrapped my stomach in painful knots and salty perspiration stung my neck where I had shaved only a little over an hour earlier.
And despite the heavy knot in my stomach.
I felt strangely empty.
I had never been able to sort out my reactions to an Execution.
The atmosphere of careful boredom, the strictly business-as-usual air failed to dull my senses as it did for the others.
I could always taste the ozone in the air, mixed with the taste of fearwhether mine, or that of the Condemned, I never knew.
My nostrils always gave an involuntary twitch at the confined odors and I felt an almost claustrophic fear at being packed into the Arena with the other nine hundred ninety-nine Citizens on Execution Duty.
I had been expecting my notice for several months before it finally came.
I hadn't served Execution Duty for nearly two years.
Usually it had figured out to every fourteen months or so on rotation, so I'd been ready for it.
A little apprehensiveI always ambut ready.
At 9: 00 in the morning, still only half awake (I'd purposely slept until the last minute), vaguely trying to remember the dream I'd had, I waited in front of the Arena for the ordeal to begin.
The dream had been something about a knife, an operation.
But I couldn't remember whether I'd been the doctor or the patient.
Our times of arrival had been staggered in our notices, so that a long queue wouldn't tie up traffic, but as usual the checkers were slow, and we were backed up a bit.
And despite the heavy knot in my stomach.
I felt strangely empty.
I had never been able to sort out my reactions to an Execution.
The atmosphere of careful boredom, the strictly business-as-usual air failed to dull my senses as it did for the others.
I could always taste the ozone in the air, mixed with the taste of fearwhether mine, or that of the Condemned, I never knew.
My nostrils always gave an involuntary twitch at the confined odors and I felt an almost claustrophic fear at being packed into the Arena with the other nine hundred ninety-nine Citizens on Execution Duty.
I had been expecting my notice for several months before it finally came.
I hadn't served Execution Duty for nearly two years.
Usually it had figured out to every fourteen months or so on rotation, so I'd been ready for it.
A little apprehensiveI always ambut ready.
At 9: 00 in the morning, still only half awake (I'd purposely slept until the last minute), vaguely trying to remember the dream I'd had, I waited in front of the Arena for the ordeal to begin.
The dream had been something about a knife, an operation.
But I couldn't remember whether I'd been the doctor or the patient.
Our times of arrival had been staggered in our notices, so that a long queue wouldn't tie up traffic, but as usual the checkers were slow, and we were backed up a bit.
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